THE GENDER RACISM

There are some things africans don't talk about. We all think about them, but it's not part of our culture to talk about them. We know, but we pretend not to know and so, we don't say. Well, I am going to talk about them. Being the coward that I am, I will talk about them here where the world wide web will protect me from judgemental looks and hypocritical replies. And oh, the comments, I will read them and learn and laugh and shake my head. A part of me hopes that you will not be too judgmental in your comments but the rebellious part of me that doesn't care is excited to read your opinions, borne out of sincere thoughts or prejudice.

Growing up, I was told the dangers of having pre-marital sex though I can't really remember if i was told the popular warning, "If a boy touches you, you will get pregnant". If i was told then I must  have some kind of immunity to pregnancy because oh boy, the number of males that have touched me in my brief lifetime (not in the way you're thinking..lol). I am not here to talk about the sexual act itself (God forbid I know anything about it! tufia!)

So I was talking to some of my friends today and we were talking about a so called girl who sleeps around. And then, a so called guy who sleeps around. And someone said the girl is so cheap and disgusting. Another person said the guy is a "baller".  I still can't decide if I was perplexed by these statements or my friends are just naive. But then, can I really blame them? In this self-righteous world? Why is it okay for a guy to sleep around and "cheap" for a girl to do the same?  Why is the guy a "sure boy" when he has conquered yet another "controls" while the girl is referred to as "loose"? And to top it all up, if a guy does not have a "CV" a ridiculous code for his female conquests, he is referred to as a "dead guy".

I find it funny that it is so easy for the society to assume that guys sleep with people cos well, they're guys and they want to but when it's a girl she has been used or she's a slut. Has it ever occurred to anyone that actually thinks, that the same way guys have needs and desires girls also have them? That the same way a guy sees a girl and wants to "nack" her is the same way a girl sees that fine, muscular dude and wants to "nack" him?  Males seem to think they are never "used" when it comes to sex. Hey dudes, it's not all about you. Some females use you too! Not every girl is a conquest. In fact, most times males are conquests too. The type of society we live in just makes it okay to judge the females alone and praise the "bad boys".  Has anyone heard of the thing called consensual sex?

That girl did that dressed up, put on expensive lipstick and came to your house to sleep with you did not feel used. She wanted to do it and she probably left with some of your money or an expensive gift. But she knows that your ego will trick you into believing you have achieved yet another feat. So she comes back again, and again and takes your money. You feel you're in control but the truth is, she is in control. You're happy, she's twice as happy...you get it? So why is it that two people are doing the same thing and only one is losing value? Perhaps it is because she is female? ..Oh but what do I know about this sex thing anyways. I am just a young, naive girl.